Reflexive pronouns and how to use them

• A list of reflexive pronouns
• Sentences with reflexive pronouns
• “Oneself” and “themself”
• Common mistakes with reflexive pronouns
• Reflexive vs. intensive pronouns

A list of reflexive pronouns

Reflexive pronouns reflect the action of the verb back onto the subject. We use a reflexive pronoun when the subject and the object of a sentence refer to the same person or thing. Here are nine subject pronouns and their corresponding reflexive pronouns: 

Sentences with reflexive pronouns

We can use reflexive pronouns as the direct object in a sentence. For example:

• I talk to myself sometimes when I’m alone. 
• Julie cut herself while preparing dinner. 

Reflexive pronouns can also be used as the indirect object in a sentence. For example:

• Can you get yourself a drink while you wait? 
• I bought myself a new coat yesterday. 

We often use reflexive pronouns after the preposition “by” to indicate that we did something alone or without help. For example:

• My two-year-old got dressed by himself this morning. 
• Did they make that cake all by themselves?

‘Oneself’ and ‘themself’

“Oneself,” like the subject pronoun “one,” is not often used in spoken, informal English. It’s a formal, old-fashioned word. Generally, modern English speakers use “you” and “yourself” instead. Here are two examples of the same sentence, with the latter being the one you’ll hear more often in day-to-day speech:

• One cannot blame oneself for other people’s actions. 
• You cannot blame yourself for other people’s actions. 

Most grammar books list the same nine examples of reflexive pronouns we included above. However, many newer dictionary editions also list another reflexive pronoun: themself. This pronoun is not yet considered fully standard, but English speakers often use it to refer to a person whose gender is unknown. For example:

• Someone hurt themself while playing on that slide. 

We can also use “themself” instead of “himself” or “herself” when the person does not identify with one gender. As such, you might see “themself” used in tandem with a person’s name or with the gender-neutral pronoun "they":

• Taylor taught themself to cook Chinese food. 
• They introduced themself to everyone. 

Common mistakes with reflexive pronouns

For learners of English as a second language, one of the most common mistakes with reflexive pronouns is using them with verbs that describe things we usually do for ourselves. This type of mistake may happen when you try to translate something directly from your native language to English. 

For example, in English, the verbs “wash,” “shave,” “concentrate” and “relax” are not usually followed by reflexive pronouns: 

• I washed and shaved before going downstairs. 
• Please concentrate on the road! 
• You need to relax and not worry so much. 

In Spanish, all of these verbs are generally reflexive, so it’s no wonder people who are learning English make such mistakes. 

For native speakers, the most common mistake with reflexive pronouns is using them when a subject or object pronoun should be used instead. This often happens when we have a compound subject or object. For example:

• Kathy or myself will give the presentation on Monday. ❌
• You can give your homework to Ms. Copper or myself to grade. ❌

To understand what’s wrong with these examples, simply remove one part of the compound subject or object and see if it still makes sense:

• Myself will give the presentation on Monday. ❌
• You can give your homework to myself to grade. ❌

In the above examples, something doesn’t sound quite right. Here are the original sentences in their correct form: 

• Kathy or I will give the presentation on Monday. ✅
• You can give your homework to Ms. Copper or me to grade. ✅

Reflexive vs. intensive pronouns

As discussed earlier, reflexive pronouns reflect the action of the verb back onto the subject. On the other hand, intensive pronouns are used to emphasize a noun or pronoun within the same sentence:

• Did you make that dress yourself? I’m impressed! 
• They themselves saw the accident happen and called the police. 

We could remove the intensive pronoun in both sentences without changing the meaning. 

Reflecting on reflexive pronouns

Hopefully, you now feel better equipped to use words like “myself” and “themselves” to express yourself clearly in English. But it can still be challenging. Reflexive pronouns in English might be used less often than in your first language, and they shouldn’t replace subject or object pronouns unnecessarily. In any case, they are essential tools for reflecting back onto a subject, so they’re worth practicing until you feel more comfortable using them in everyday conversation.